Saturday, 19 April 2014
Allotment ...... Post 2
Just as I bloody well thought, my alloted allotment plot did indeed prove to be an overgrown bleeding mess of abandoned allotment detritus, skutch grass, rioting raspberries, a rotting rabbit carcass and rather large collection of unfortunately empty vodka bottles..... I love it.
After careful consideration and seconds of forward planning I have decided what I want to grow, how I'd like to grow it, the general layout of my Kingdom and roughly how to make a start.... all over a brew and piece of toast smothered in proper butter and honey, the toast that is not moi more's the pity!
Firstly I asked myself what do I wish to receive from this overgrown bomb site and the simple answer was healing and cider. I don't want to be having to burst my balls for scant reward, cultivating masses of vegetables that I probably won't eat, I don't want to grow so many different types just to be able to say I grew this, this and that, especially as I'm going to have to learn how to grow each type from scratch. I want to grow what I know I'll eat and I want to grow it well. But I want to avoid chemicals and lesson my impact on nature.... do I want to much?
So with these very broad, loose and probably changeable guide lines I have set forth and attacked the plot with some gusto incurring aching muscles, numerous nettle stings and a sun burnt back. I managed to strim about three quarters of the jungle before my strimmer twine came an end. This left me with a mound of strimmed jungle so after some minor piracy I managed to coble together a rough n ready compost bin out of three disintegrating pallets that I think had more than likely been discarded.
At the top of the plot (it's on a slope) amidst a un-breachable combination of raspberry canes gone native, rolls of wire fencing, the aforementioned bunny corpse, brambles giaganticaus and a host of sharp pointy things there appear to be two apple trees crying out for rescue. And as it happens these fit into my devious plans superbly for the next day a further six apple trees were planted by my good self, two golden delicious and four proper cider trees who's name escapes me at the moment.. tsk. After a bloody hard day and getting sun burnt I came back to my abode in the village to find my allotment tenant's agreement waiting for me...page eighty nine, paragraph four, line four states that fruit trees shall not be planted without first consultation and then obtaintion of written permission from the allotments association... oh Bollocks!
Never mind, further plans include the rescue of the two strangled apple trees, the installation of a shed and very small greenhouse, four to five raised beds and the implementation of plan "bring wildlife into the plot". So I bid you all welcome to allotment plot 2a...it thickens you know.
Till next time take care all,