The extra bits...(Under construction).

Saturday, 9 August 2014

Enough said....

     So here I am scoffing a bacon and egg bap and drinking heavily sugared tea contemplating my decline, both mentally and physically, into the derelict rusting hulk known to you as John. I find myself drifting back to a time, not many years ago, when a ten mile hike along mountain tops was considered a good start to the day. Now if I can get down the stairs without feeling some twinge, ache or heavy breathing I consider that a very good start to the day.  I could give you a list as long as my arm of reasons, nay excuses, for my decline into this round lazy hulk but it all boils down to fact that it's my own doing, bugger!

     The theme of one or two blog posts that I've read lately seem to have touched on the issue of health, becoming older and the cost of staying healthy. I have to admit that the cost of being unhealthy, as I am......did I mention the racking coughing fits?, far outways any monitory considerations. I've lost myself, my contact and feeling of being as one with nature and basically my life. But it's very difficult to break this downwards spiral..... pass the salt please....and far easier to allow myself to continue downwards, moaning about how ill and old I am till I slam into the deck of the good ship permanent decrepitude.  I like moaning about it though, goes with the image I guess.

     I miss my face burning after being blasted on windswept hillsides, I miss the sense of well being sitting in the depths of ancient woodlands whilst nature surrounds and accepts my presence, I miss sitting alone on a dark deserted beach with mackerel cooking over a driftwood fire, l miss swimming in lakes that drop away so deep as to be inky black beneath me, I miss the pleasure of seeing a kingfisher flashing past me not aware of me as I stealthily hunt wild fish, I miss my soulmate's smile in the mornings after making love through the night.. . .I miss who I was.


     What to do? I'm not sure if I have the strength to even attempt to stop my decay but I have to try. To much has been lost and I'm tired of giving up on my life. It's time to try and regain some pride, self respect and maybe a life.....time to live and stop the self pity and moaning.


Till the next time take care,


John

26 comments:

  1. Your mission should you choose to accept it........

    I think I could possibly be one of those blogs you have read my lovely. I know where you coming from I really, really do. A week staring at a ceiling has been unbearable and I can only imagine what it would be like having to do it for the rest of my life.

    I know I am better if I eat healthy food and exercise gently, I feel great!! but after giving up the fags and going onto pain killers for my spine I have the greatest cravings for sugar imaginable, hell I would crawl to the shop for a tub of BJs (Ben and Jerrys you mucky lot)

    So here we go, I will make you a deal and promise to suffer along with you in an en-devour to sort out our lives, I'm as nutty as a fruit cake to boot so it should be an interesting journey.

    This message will self distruct in five seconds....... x

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    1. Damn and blast I've been rumbled, indeed Julee yours was one of the blogs I have touched upon. I may well live to regret this but we an accord me dear and I accept the mission so delegated.....now I just have extinguish my burning eyebrows and nasal hair.....curse those self destructive messages!

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    2. Giggling hurts my back you know ..........ouch!!!

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  2. "What to do? I'm not sure if I have the strength to even attempt to stop my decay but I have to try."

    Just repeating that statement back at you! (Don't mind me, I'm not here...)

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    1. Ok I get the message...anyway thought you were taking a break from blogging? :)

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    2. Grrr... Aargh! Yes, yes... Off my duff, thank you, John, but after another cup of coffee to face the day first.

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  3. You sound like you know exactly what you need to do so that's a good beginning. Even if you cannot climb the hill yet maybe just sit on it a while and enjoy x

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    1. Ah knowledge of what medicine to cure my aliments be one thing Hazzy, taking it be another but getting to sit under the hill would a grand first step me thinks.

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  4. Ahh but isn't your soul mate still here to kiss your aches and pains??
    BJ x

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    1. I beginning to believe so BJ, and that's part of the reason that I wish to stop my decline reaching down any further so that if my soulmate needs me I can be all she wants and desires x

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  5. Never a better time to get started than right now. So get your rear in gear and get started.

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  6. The important question here is brown sauce or red sauce? On yer bacon bap?

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  7. I'm a fairly no-nonsense person my dear as you may have realised. I tend to administer tough love to my friends, so I might be tempted to ask what's stopping you just getting on and doing it? If it's proving hard to embark, with my patients I get them to write a simple list of things they want to do/ achieve with the most important at the top, and they tick off just one thing each month. At the end of six months you've got a record of what you've done which in itself encourages you to do more. Worth a try?

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    1. Sounds like a sound plan....though when you read of today's exploits........

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  8. What to do? Jump in that lake again.

    I triple-dog dare you.

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    1. Mmmm damn your triple-dog dare.....you have something to answer for my man, the next post will explain all.

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  9. You know, I've found that the older I get, the harder it gets. I'm always surprised and frustrated at my body. It used to work like a new car, I could just get in and drive and feel confident that nothing would go wrong. Now, I often feel as if I am driving an old jalopy, like it's always something, you know? But, the trade off is wisdom. I am now smarter and much, much more wise in my choices.

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    1. Have to agree with you Maria, although after today's exploits my wisdom may severely be in question!

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  10. "You know, I've found that the older I get, the harder it gets."

    Ok, Maria here is wise. We've been talking the same thing here.

    Looking to hear your next post, John. Tell us, what is going on?

    Sorry, don't know your whole story, impossible to, so...

    I think we wish you well in all. As they say, growing old is not for sissies... Very true, that.

    And I've got move beyond, myself. I was lucky for a great long while. But life catches up to us not matter how fast we run or especially if for some reason (or many!) we stop. And staying glued to my computer is not helping, quite the opposite, but hey, I'm curious! And recuperating. Please forgive.

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    1. Nothing to forgive Wildside, I think being curious is a good thing personally. Perhaps you could join the few of us on these blogs that have decided to improve our lot?

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  11. Hmm... OK, John. You inspired me. As of this morning:

    http://growingwilder.blogspot.com/p/on-foot-or-afloat.html

    Warning, not much there yet -- as don't think I should be relying on past stories to get me credit!

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Feel free to comment but no blaspheming now...