I went to see my mother today, well yesterday now....it's a shift thing, as it was her eighty first birthday and being the last few years of madness I'd overlooked several of them I thought I'd best do my dutiful son thing for a change and take her a card.
I took Bear as she stays there upon occasion when my shifts mean she'd be left overlong and straight away it starts. I have swiftly come to learn, as most people with Springers probably will agree, that these dogs are a breed apart. As well as the most loving, intelligent and sensitive dog I've known Bramble is also a thief, she is stubborn and wilfully just a bugger who sometimes tests my patience to the limit and then just gives it another little push for good measure. So I try to be strict with her, she's not aloud on the sofa, she does not get titbits from my plate just her set meals, she sits when told, she is discouraged from jumping up at people, she comes to command, she does not pinch bacon from the frying pan (butter wouldn't melt) and she does not pinch any more of my bloody socks.
But at mum and dad's you can forget all of that. We leave our present abode, Bramble jumps lightly, nay demurely into the back of my car and settles down without a sound. We cruised the few miles to my parents whilst being gently serenaded by the dulcet tones of Mr. Bonn Scott accompanied with the gently strumming fingers of young master Angus Young, ah so devine, so calming and so educational all at once. Then we turned into the short private road that leads to the row of houses where my aged parents house sits, already Mr. Scott has some competition as an excited whimpering can be heard emanating from the rear of my car...here we go again, bugger!
By the time we come to a standstill I'm sure she's already slobbering at the thought of the muck she's about ta be a running. Already resigned to the inevitable I open the tail gate and release the Spaniel of excitement out. Straight to the outside back door she runs at full pelt jumping up at the very last minute to crash through, the inner door receives the same treatment. Hurtling into the house afore me all I hear is the clatter of their whippet's dog bowl but before I'm inside Bear has already left the crime scene and is now pouncing all over my parents sofas. I trudge into the front room to the now familer scene of Bear launching herself between sofas determined to lick both parents but never sure which one tastes better so back and forth she hurls herself. Raising my voice, OFF I gruffly tell her to which she immediately cowers ( god it's pathetic) as close to mother as she can with a look as if I'd taken a whip to her hide. Both parents berate me saying how harsh I am with her...sigh. The same 'off' back at the abode results in a sidewise look to check if I meant it then a wagging tail as she moves onto something else to investigate. But not here, oh no, the conniving little bugger plays to her audience so well.
Mother gets up to make a brew with Bear running in circles around her. As they disappear into the kitchen my all but deaf mother whispers with all the stealth of a elephant ' biscuit Brambles, but don't tell your dad'...sigh. And so it goes on, when I go back to pick her up she'll be as broad as a bleeding aircraft carrier and it'll take all my patience to keep her off the sofa.. Sigh. I'll have to check her stools to see what passes through her after her thievery there...sigh. And I'll have the devil of a job stopping her begging at the table again. I knew I should have got a goldfish instead... Sigh!
Till the next time, take care...