First thing this morning I was going to write up up my chicken soup recipe for you lucky people to drool over but then I looked out the window and thought ..... nah stuff that I'm going to go out and by some replacement bird feeders to replace the pile of tosh that try to pass themselves off as suitable feeders. They are truly pants, forever clogging and only having stupid wire perches at the bottom which every morning seemed to unexplainably be pushed upwards barely allowing my few feathered visitors a claw hold to enable them to feed. So I jumped into 'flat cap man's' car which was a bugger to start being as it had stood for quite some time due to me being lurgified, and headed down to the purveyor of all sorts of sundries B of the Q. Whilst examining the feeders upon display the 'big one' caught my eye and I found myself ooohhing out loud. But then I saw the price, bloody hell £12.00 to attract ungrateful little buggers to crap on me car! Ah but then I noticed that one of the four perches was missing on one of the feeders "aha" a bargain in the making thinks I. So I tootled around the rest of the store with one of those old woman baskets that they supply that are carried by men and wheeled along using the extending handle by infirm and incontinent old ladies. Unfortunately yes I wheeled mine along just like said old dears, bloody lurgy! Anyways back to point upon reaching the checkout I put through my sundry items first and then finally just before t'was swiped I asked the expressionless young lass on the till if there was to be a discount as it was not complete? "I'll call someone" came back the standard reply, and two minutes later a rather flustered and even younger assistant manager came puffing along and the following conversation occured.....
JM ..... what's the problem (rather abruptly thought I)
Moi .... Well beside your manners young man (so there is some advantage to getting older) I'd like a discount upon this incomplete avian multi type food dispenser (and yes I was smiling)
JM ... Eh?
Moi ... (sigh)The bird feeder, some bits are missing
JM .... Oh isn't there another one?
Moi .... No my good man there is not, I indeed scoured the avian food dispensing section with not a sign of a suitable and truly complete dispenser of succulent seeds and meal worms for the delectation of the varied avian creatures that would indeed perish without some sort of intervention by a good and stout hearted Welshman able to provide such a banquet to titillate the pallets of avian persuasion, namely moi. But if you wish to check the facility of avian seed dispensing contraptions your good self please do so and don't give a second thought to the fact that in doing so that this action would lead myself to believe that you think that I may well be telling untruths, porkies or downright lies!, therefore young man making me think that you indeed doubt my good character which would in lead to me taking umbrage and demanding full satisfaction from a more senior member of your wonderful facility and also forcing me to abandon these other items that this delightful young lady has so ably entered into the sold section of your wonderful companies computerised records which inturn would leave even more shit for you to sort out. (with the queue behind becoming longer, my grin now probably shark like and that I used the word "shit" I was really hoping that he wouldn't check as the fact was that there were actually three complete feeders in the bird feeding section, oops)
JM .... Er how much discount were you thinking of? (very red faced)
Moi ... Oh about .... twelve pounds would seem about right don't you think?
JM .... Er..Yes, yes err twelve err that sounds ok, ring it through K.
K ... So that item will be twelve pounds off?
JM ... Yes K (rather loudly) now just serve the (quite a pause) er...gentleman.
K ...Fine, that item will be nothing sir (with a lovely knowing smile to boot)
Moi .... Ta very much
Damn it is hard to be a pirate these days, but when it happens oh the world seems a much better place. Ah but this wasn't actually what I intended to post about this evening, see even now I'm being impulsive.
For this afternoon, oh hang on the mystery of the upward facing wires on the soon to be redundant feeders was solved upon my return.... Rattus Norvegious....
......the little bugger was perched happy as Larry on the crap feeder using the wire perches as support in broad daylight the little bastard! Then again you have to respect their ingenuity and survival skills, just a pity they carry disease. Anyway back to the plot, before I lose it completely, upon stepping over the threshold, releasing the hounds of hell out for a piddle and a scamper around the garden I thought to myself stuff my knackered knees and stuff me feeling like crap with no energy at all, those dogs need a proper walk. So without stopping to think I made up a steak n kidney pot of stew and bunged it in the oven on low, grabbed the two hounds and bundled them into the car. Half an hour later we're the only souls in Nercwys woods car park.....
It was only half a mile in when I realised how little thought had gone into this escapade, firstly I had no walking kit or equipment at all just jeans, steel toe capped work boots and a crap not fit for purpose coat! With also no knapsack, firesteel, no fluids, no knife, no basics at all...just goes to show that I've been away too long. Coupled with this I realised as the two dogs scampered away up the trail that I'd never had Nelly off the lead before....what the hell was I thinking. As I limped after them I composed myself and made myself trust my instincts about her and that she'd be ok. Sure enough there was only a slight hesitation on her stubborn face when I called her back, but then she hurled herself pell mell back down the hill with what I can only describe as a joyful look on her face, yep she is definitely one of the pack, my pack. Bearing in mind the conditions and my knees I followed a short route which would have taken just over ten minutes back in the day, it took me a good hour to complete. Partly because we came across some serious walkers with two highland terriers, again time to curse impulse as Nelly had not met other dogs besides Bear since joining our clan. But they got on fine apart from Nelly deciding that walking with them would be more fun than trying to keep up with Bear, took me fifteen minutes of coaxing and a little Anglo Saxon before the stubborn little bugger decided to come back on our side. But all in all she towed the line well and both thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
Another thing that I did on impulse was to leave the camera at home thinking I'd have no interest in taking photographs but, surprisingly, I regretted that decision once 'out there'. I still had my phone on me so I took some average pictures to show the trail...
|About time dad!!!|
|There's something wrong with my ears dad!|
|A few of the I cones picked up for tonights fire.....why didn't I bring the knapsack? pockets stuffed with em!|
|You can tell they were bred for the same purpose....noses to the ground all the way...|
|At least I remembered one piece of kit...|
|Knackered..one and all|
I'll finish now because the promised snow has maybe just started, the delicious stew has settled warming my stomach and I've just been told that apple pie is waiting for me with a brew by the fire...maybe I'll post the chicken soup recipe another day...maybe.
Til the next time, be prepared and take care...