The extra bits...(Under construction).

Monday, 30 November 2015

A need to simplify my life ...

      Well it's already the eve of December 2015 and I don't know whether it be an age thing (listening to Pink Floyd 'Animals' as I type) but this year has flown by, blink and I would have missed it me thinks! I guess it did not help matters with the first quarter of the year having my mind being closed off by the Black Dog for a few months, and a few 'lighter dips' since. It is funny how sometimes when referring to depression it can almost seem 'off the cuff' comments are used as if it is not such a serious thing, 'lighter dips' indeed. But for all intense purposes if I'm low but can just about function these are the times that I consider to be 'lighter dips', not to say that they are not hard to cope with for myself or for my family. 

     But even taken those lost months into account the year has still sped by as if it had a jet propelled rocket up its very arse. The shift rota at the Fun Factory does not help I feel, what with its 2 twelve hour days followed by 2 twelve hour nights and then the supposedly 4 days off (finishing at 6 am on the morning of the first day off does not constitute a full bloody day off), the weeks just hurtle by. So faced with the end of the year already looming it just seems that life is passing me by with nothing being accomplished apart from more grey hairs adorning me beard. Especially at this time of the year when the daylight is limited, the weather can at best be described as temperamental and Christmas adverts are blighting the bloody airwaves! Maybe I suffer from S.A.D. as well as depression? it wouldn't bloody well surprise me.

      I feel that I need to get back on track, simplify things a tad, get a routine that allows my mind and body to rest and stop over thinking things so much. Tis difficult to change track, for a start my work rota plays havoc with eating and sleep patterns (not to mention the pressure of an understaffed and unappreciated engineering team), sleep is not forthcoming easily of late and healthy eating is but a distant memory at the moment (these 'Yorkie' giant chocolate buttons are rather moreish). I also suffer from what is, and I'm positive about this, scientifically termed the 'Butterfly effect'. This is when, with all good intention, I set aside a time for starting and completing a task but then swiftly I'm distracted from said task by another and whilst addressing the new task something else grabs my attention, for example......   Today I was going to measure up what remains of the space in Compromise garden to allow the planning and drawing up of a lean-to for me to construct in which to shelter old Rusty from the elements and allow me to start stripping her down. Simple enough you may think? err no... I steps out of the back door and notice the large amount of 'dog daises'  that require clearing up (I swear those two can crap for Wales) so I fetch the dog poo shovel and clear up said daisies taking them, in their highly engineered waste disposal and odor nullifying device (a plastic bag to you lot) to the bin which I then discovered required taking out to the street for collection day tomorrow. So I trundled the bin outwards to discover that the back gate latch was a tad loose which led me to decide to fetch a screwdriver from the Wendy house workshop to repair said gate. Whilst on route to the workshop I noticed that there was some garden moss that had been flung out of the house gutter by some creature or other so picking this up I changed tack and headed towards the compost bin but before reaching it (a total journey from moss deposit to bin of 6 steps) I had the idea that the moss would actually look rather good upon a piece of bogwood that stuck out above the water level in the aquarium. Ah the aquarium thought I, tis time it had a water change.... now you perhaps have an idea of the 'Butterfly effect' upon my life. 

    So yes I need to slow down and simplify things for sure. I really need to begin to address one task at a time and complete it before the next one is taken on. I guess that having a myriad of hobbies and interests does not help matters but I really do need to prioritise and bring some order to the tasks that just seem to pile up and whittle them down so that they do not seem such a formidable mountain of things to do. Well for a start the allotment is to be placed upon the back burner until Spring is in full swing (well once the two mature trees are pruned), Compromise garden can sleep for a while now (once its final tidy up is sorted that is), the aquarium is ticking over nicely and just requires minimum of care to maintain its slow and steady growth,... 




      ... work on Rusty will have to be put on hold until the yet to be measured lean-to is up and also for me E bay account to be healthy enough to purchase a mig welder,...



     ... work? well we will just have to see how that pans out over the next few months but I feel a change is needed here and for anything else that I've missed out? well they cannot be that important so I'd best stop worrying about em.

     It all seems like plain sailing don't it? But take it from me although such order and organisation would seem to be easy to attain, and it would certainly help me with the dog, it is truly something that is so very hard for me to get a grasp on and put into action. I talk of taking small steps and the journey will take care of itself but sometimes even the smallest of steps require tremendous efforts for me to take. But the thing is as I have opened up more and more about my state of mind others have come forward to talk of theirs, so if you're reading this and can identify with the dog, don't worry you are not alone in this as myself and many others are out there willing to help you.

       I wonder if any of you good readers (reader?) out there have ways to organise your work/hobbies/tasks so that they don't become a mountain that just dominates your lives?, tips and advice are always welcome.

Til the next time take care,

John
      

     

38 comments:

  1. Itemize and prioritize, make a list, several lists and paste them on the back of the front door and stick to it. As you scratch the tasks off as completed you will derive satisfaction and a sense of direction. And for god's sake don't over-analyze things too much. Stay on task.

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    1. That sounds like a plan, though I'll probably have to contend with the butterfly effect even with making a list....ahhh there's my pencil, oh it needs sharpening I'll just get the sharpener thingy, oh look at that by the sharpener thingy a tape measure I'll just measure up for that lean-to .........

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    1. Indeed he had Mr. Smthye, indeed he had

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  3. John, I am also a sufferer of the Butterfly Effect and I understand the struggle. I'm also prone to occasional visits from that bastard Black Dog, especially this time of year. I just wanted to pop in and give you a quick word of support and also to thank you for your kind comment on my blog today.

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    1. Thank you Jennifer, but after all that is what friends are for.

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  4. Vitamin D for the dark sunless days is great for SADS. Do one job at a time was the advice my old mother gave me and she was right; other than that make a list of jobs pin it up and tick them off as you go along.

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    1. Thank you Mel, it seems that lists are a common thread within these comments and I used to make them regularly back in the days before the dog. I think perhaps I will start them again with list 1 being...... make a list ;-)

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  5. Hello there,
    I too suffer from depression accompanied by generalized anxiety. I can get in a right muddle sometimes. For me I need to write stuff down, so I have an A5 organizer (Filofax!). I have 5 sections (diary, home, garden, finance, child, work). Each section has its own to do list etc. For example, I have a cleaning routine, and a list of to-dos for the garden, home etc. This has helped enormously. I like to see things on paper as well (I'm old fashioned!)

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    1. Hello Lavender, I too like paper rather than this electronic malarkey, though spell checker is a big plus. I think that for my lists an A4 pad is going to be required :-)

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  6. If we don't write 'daily' lists, we would never get anything done because we would simply forget. Some days everything on said list is crossed off, other days, hardly anything. If you could get off shifts, one way or another, that might prove very beneficial. Dull days are also a pain, maybe you do also need one of those special SAD lights?

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    1. The light may be a good plan DC though of late I have the aquarium light next to me in my study and this may well be helping as its spectrum is designed for plant growth. Getting off shifts is indeed something I have thought about long and hard lately though my purse strings will have to be tightened if this is to happen....a small sacrifice m'thinks for a healthier life.

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  7. My hobbies were piling up too - and beginning to feel like chores to be done. My solution was a drastic cull - to concentrate on the one hobby I ENJOYED the most - not necessarily the one I was best at - and to let all the others go. At first it had a sad, 'end of an era', feel to it but after a while it really helped me to relax and stop feeling guilty about the things I wasn't doing. If that makes sense.....

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    1. Hello Wanda, Indeed a cull upon my hobbies is something that will have to happen I feel. Paying attention to one or two would prove far less stressful than skipping through several.

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  8. Good morning John. I found you on another blog and now I seem to be your newest follower . . . and why wouldn't I? You're a dog-lover, Moggie lover (well, you soon will be), aquarium lover, Cornwall lover, amateur gardener . . . . I have spent a chunk of time this morning reading some of your posts, so forgive me if I have weighed you up wrongly. But I look forward to reading more of your interesting posts, catching up with the progress of the Moggie Makeover, aquarium building, dog-walks and once the winter is behind us, gardening and holidays, etc.

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    1. I think that you have covered most of the bases there Rambler ;-) I hope that my scribbled posts here keep your interest piqued.

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    2. I think that you have covered most of the bases there Rambler ;-) I hope that my scribbled posts here keep your interest piqued.

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  9. I share your pain about 4 of 4 off shifts! I need to do a lot of similar things too.

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    1. They are a bugger Simon, definitely interfere with a simple life.

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    2. They are a bugger Simon, definitely interfere with a simple life.

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  10. Lists and more lists, without them I'm lost and faff about wondering what I should be doing.

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    1. Faff is not a word I've heard in eons Sue ;-) I think lists are going to figure a lot more in my life.

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  11. Make a list and do one job at a time so you can tick them off- just looking at the ticks will keep you going :-)

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    1. Thanks CT, though just getting one tick done would be an achievement at the moment.

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    2. Thanks CT, though just getting one tick done would be an achievement at the moment.

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  12. I also have a butterfly mind it is why I now have lists. lol I have to remember where I put the list, but it does help. I am glad you are feeling better. And I love the aquarium.

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    1. Glad you like the aquarium Sol, seems that lists are the way to go with all the comments here.

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    2. Glad you like the aquarium Sol, seems that lists are the way to go with all the comments here.

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  13. Hi John. When we moved into the new house last April we started the same type of "this has to be done, that has to be done, and this too". Don't forget this needs to be done etc, etc, etc. Then BOOM, yours truly exploded. The only way we could accomplish ANYTHING was to make a priority list. The first thing on the list was replace the faucets in the bathroom and the kitchen. Mission accomplished. Second on the list is sliding drawers in the kitchen cabinets. Temporarily on hold because of the water pipe break and rebuild (done by an insurance company contractor) of said kitchen is done (maybe this week). Third thing is replacing the fascia boards on the eaves of the house. The builder (back in 1999 when the house was built) apparently didn't think gutters were necessary (nor did the old lady who live here for 16 years). Now all the fascia boards are warped and every time it rains, the water splashes on the side of the house and if the windows are open, in the house. BUT, until these are completed, nothing else goes on the list or gets done. The rest just has to wait. Hope that helps.

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    1. It does help Mark, one step at a time in order of importance I guess and the list takes care of it self. Thank you for this my friend.

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    2. It does help Mark, one step at a time in order of importance I guess and the list takes care of it self. Thank you for this my friend.

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  14. I make a list too then try to do 3 small things each day or 1 large one. You could try that and forgive yourself if you don't manage to do any :)

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    1. Thank you Jane, I'll bear your words in mind.

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  15. Always a list John and if things don't get crossed off then they carry over to the next days list.

    I always find it hard to find the time to spend on my hobbies - sometimes especially since I retired it's like everyone wants a slice of you and your time and are ready to make you feel guilty if you try to say No. So now I'll schedule time into my week for my hobbies and just say I'm not about on that day, if asked by someone if I'm free to do whatever.(usually something for them)

    Perhaps you could try setting a list then setting some time on one side just to get a certain task done and off your list cause then you might feel a little better - it's also about just staying focused on the job in hand too so that you can put a line through one of the tasks on the list. Crossing a task off a list always makes me feel like I'm in control.

    Good luck John xxx

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    1. One thing that I have learned Trudie is that everyman and his dog want a piece of you if you let yourself take on what they ask, but very rarely are the 'favors' returned. One thing that I have learned through the last few dark years is to say no to folk. Doesn't make me popular but does ease the burden.

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    2. Love the idea of scheduling hobbies. That is an excellent thought

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  16. Right now I'm very tired after a hectic month of November, and I struggle to get the smallest thing done. However, I have learnt to be kind to myself and realise that eventually I'll get around to it and it is ok if it'll take some time and it is ok to be tired right now. Sometimes if things get really bad my wonderful sister comes swopping in and helps me with the basic household chores:)
    As far as hobbies are concerned I want to enjoy them and live in the moment, which means that I have many projects on the go and switch in between them depending on my mood and my fancy. I guess I want to enjoy the ride along the way and don't stress about the end result or the time it takes to get there:)
    Just don't be too hard on yourself - that is the biggest lesson I've learnt through my depression. And try to do things that you enjoy every day in order to give your life meaning and happiess:)

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    1. Thank you Annie, your words are kind and strike a chord within me.

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