The New year is fast approaching and the old one will soon be behind us, which is traditionally the time for new beginnings, for unrealistic resolutions (but all with good intention) and for the girding of loins for the year ahead. So what has this here rotund, Black Dog hounded, Welshman resolved to do this coming year? Bugger all that's what!
Now do not misunderstand me, it is not as if my life could not be improved and I certainly could be a far better person based upon the evidence of my past. But I will not be drawn into the trap of making resolutions to change perceived failings of mine that I do not have a cat in Hells chance of maintaining. No, I would rather just try to make slow and gentle changes that will be long lasting and will make a real difference to myself and those that I love. Living with and slowly coming to terms with the Black dog has at least taught me that 'slow n steady' wins the race and certainly past tactics of mine in trying to change who I am by rushing like a bull at a gate headlong into perceived better ways have been doomed to failure from the start, and failing certainly allows the Black dog to strengthen her grip upon my life. No, I realise now that slow changes are needed if the dog is to be kept at bay, for my life to be more fulfilled and for me to become that 'better person', especially to others. A rash series of resolutions that will swiftly fall by the wayside is not the answer for me, and I say 'for me' as we are all different and making the yearly batch of resolutions may indeed work for others.
So how do I intend to improve my life this coming year? Well for a start there is something that has already started and which I hope to continue and expand upon and that is learning to realise that I am who I am in the moment. All the bad, and yes good, of the past has shaped me into who I am at this precise moment in time. I cannot change the past anymore than I can predict the future and learning to accept myself for who or what I am is, I believe, the key to breaking the dog's hold upon my life. It sounds simple enough but believe me when I tell you it is a far from simple thing to achieve as the past still haunts me and dreams of the future still cloud my mind. The trend, I believe, is to call such a way of thinking 'mindfulness' but I have never been one for trends and I prefer just calling it 'being me'.
More run of the mill stuff is that I really must become less rotund as my bloody knees are going to give up the ghost if they have to keep supporting my winter store of lard. But again, as regular readers will know that this is a topic that keeps popping up throughout my scribings hence will not be a 'new' resolution. I certainly wish to walk more this year after last year's complete shambles of none adventure but this goes hand in hand with knees and rotundness so again not a 'new' resolution. Of course Rusty's restoration will be ongoing, now having her own blog here, Comprise garden and the aquarium (aquariums? shhh don't tell George) will continue to mature and help quiet my tumbling thoughts and of course there is my scribings upon here, which will still remain to be as tongue in cheek, serious, or as tangential as I like. I have had doubts about continuing my blog as you may know, but the issues that before made me doubt the good sense of allowing an insight into my life for others to see have not reappeared and as long as my words continue to help others with the Dog or bring a smile to just one person's face then I shall continue, after all I seem to have made several friends here in the blogosphere.
There is some adventure to be had already upon the horizon with a trip to New Zealand booked (be there dragons?) where I am presently engaged in trying to organise having some more ink done whilst out there and in keeping with the antipodean theme two tickets for AC/DC have been purchased for their summer tour upon these isles, rock n roll baby. Nearer home I'm hoping that 'friends for life' will be met again this coming year as well as perhaps some others from the blogosphere. As for other adventure I thoroughly intend to make the most of any opportunities that arise and of course will keep you posted. But do not think that I am looking too far ahead, some things do require looking to the future in order to plan for and to organise but on the whole I am still just trying to live in, and appreciate the moment and will try to continue to so. I am finding this step by small step living less taxing than the reflecting too much on the gone and the worrying or dreaming to much about the future and I am slowly (very slowly) coming to terms with myself in the 'now'.
So yes no resolutions made apart from 'I'm not making a New year resolution' but a year ahead full of promise, adventure before dementia and one hopefully less affected by the Dog. Oh and yes I did say in my previous post that I would not be posting before the New year but I had to do something today to take my mind off my over stuffed and uncomfortably full stomach. It would interesting to know what plans you all have for this coming year, if you have resolutions in mind and if you manage to keep them!
Until the next time, take good care and a very Happy New year to one and all of you.