......after the whirlwind of the last few months. I cannot actually believe that I have not touched base here since the end of November last year, what in Bonaparte's balls has been going on? you may well ask. Well if one could have been bothered to read that last, far distant post, you may remember that a turning point in my life had been reached and the decision to leave factory work and dive into the shark infested waters of the self employed had been taken. So what has happened since then I hear you halfheartedly mutter? Well to honest quite a lot and not much at the same time......
To begin with the Black dog has not ceased her stalking of me and has at times has been very close to dragging my mind over the lip of the abyss. What with all the shit, the guilt and the lack of confidence that I retain from the last few years of being under siege from the black bitch it is never going to be easy to live a 'normal' life, whatever that means. I have swapped one set of pressures from life in the grind to an entirely different set by becoming my own boss. Coupled with other pressures from family members, issues with the dogs (now read dog), trying to change our abode and a run of ill health it has been indeed difficult to retain motivation and remain positive. Coupled to the fact that I am by far not the greatest at talking about what is going on within the maelstrom of my mind at the best of times, it has been a journey that at moments has felt like that 'the light at the end of the tunnel' has been cancelled due to a lack of interest!
We still have not managed to exchange our abode for something more suitable although we have now decided to give it a few more months with perhaps a reduction in the asking price. If this fails to bring forth a new abode then we will stay put and make the best of the situation as we cannot continue with this feeling of being in limbo indefinitely.
Another, harder for me, decision was made and that was to re-home Nelly our stubborn Beagle. For various reasons I was unable to cope with her and with Bramble and this was another cause of pressures that I didn't want. To be honest the decision was made far too long after it should have been which is a reflection of my inability sometimes to concede defeat.
As for my business adventure? well the official registration of my business will take place on the sixth day of the forth month of this year. In the meantime, since raising my archer's fingers to factory life, I have been preparing myself for this momentous day, work has been undertaken, machinery has been bought, advertisements made, research has been mined and also a trusty steed has been purchased in which to carry the tools of my new trade.....
....and oh yes I have been working for a few 'friends' to ahem, hone my skills. So all in all the adventure is trundling along quite nicely though I still have a lot to learn and a very long way to go before I even can think of the future of it, for now it is a day by day adventure and one I feel that has many twists and turns yet to come.
When you look at the these sparse words it does seem that not a great deal has been occurring over the past months but in reality it has been a rock n roll ride so far and hopefully it will lead to the dog being left further behind and with me having a peace of mind long searched for. I guess ultimately the question is 'am I happy?', well perhaps it is a difficult one to answer in a black and white way, perhaps it is enough to say though that I am getting there.
Til the next time take care,